A Decent Proposal

As the title of this post suggests, The Keeper proposed to me recently. And he did a damn good job, too. So, I’ve decided to set him forth as an example for anyone out there who is trying to figure out how to go about this, apparently, daunting task.

First, here’s how it all went down:

We were on vacation in the Outer Banks. The Keeper and I had talked before the trip about having a picnic on the beach one of the nights of our vacation. So earlier in the day we bought a picnic basket/cooler and some wine. Then in the evening we grabbed a couple Subway sandwiches, packed them into the cooler with the wine and a couple of plastic mason jar cups with twisty straws, and hauled everything out onto the beach.


We tried to pick a place that the was both less populated and close to where we’d crossed the dunes. We ended up close to where we’d entered the beach, but overrun by small children hunting for ghost crabs shortly after we’d spread our blanket out and sat down. We ate our sandwiches and drank our wine and muttered about how it would be nice to have an unobstructed view of the ocean instead of a wall of small children. Eventually the adults that were with the children either decided it was getting too late or realized they were bothering us and they shepherded the kids down the beach some.

We finished our wine, watched the ocean until it got dark enough to see stars, and then laid out on our blanket looking up at the sky. We both exclaimed about how bright the stars were with no city lights to compete with, and then The Keeper said, “Man, this would’ve been a really good time to propose.” And I sort of chuckled and replied, “Oh you just thought of that?” And he said, “Nope”, and pulled out the ring box.


And that was pretty much it. He asked the question, I answered, we chatted a bit. Then we went back to the house we had rented.

Now, here are the lessons you should be taking away from this story if you’re trying to figure out how to propose:

1- Unless your partner has specifically said that they want to be put on the spot in front of a huge crowd of people, don’t. An informal poll of all of our female friends, both married and unmarried, suggests that the way The Keeper went about things was perfect. Most people don’t want their answer to such a huge question to be waited upon and scrutinized by a huge group of strangers. Or a huge group of family and friends for that matter. So either find somewhere secluded to pop the question, or if you have to do it in the middle of a crowd somewhere do it in a way that won’t draw the attention of the people around you. That means that if you’re in a restaurant, don’t do that one knee bullshit.

2- Choose a special place. It can be somewhere you go together often and both really like, or somewhere that’s special because it’s new and you’re both excited to be there experiencing it for the first time together. Just try to pick a place that will be worthy of the memory later on. I’m not generally super mushy or sentimental, but I do want to be able to tell people about this event and if the setting had been something boring he would have had to work way harder on the delivery for it to be a good story.

3- Do what feels right for you and your relationship. If it feels right to write out and rehearse a speech beforehand, do that. If it feels better to just wing it when it comes to the words, that’s fine. If you want to go down on one knee, great. If not, that’s ok too. Just take the other two points into account. If the location you’ve chosen means that getting down on one knee will draw a bunch of attention and you don’t know if your partner is ok with that, then either pick a new location or don’t do the knee thing.

That’s it. It’s that easy to get it right. Unless you’re with one of those weirdos who want some outlandish, grand, attention seeking gesture. I don’t know what to tell you about those people.


Things That Infuriate Me: Bigoted Assholes Trying To Make Their Bigotry Into Laws

Presented without comment, because if I comment it’s just going to be a whole lot of cursing and unintelligible characters.

Texas GOP Official Platform Calls for Imprisonment of Homosexuals and Supportive Heterosexuals

Digg This

Same Sex Marriage in the Nation’s Capital

Last month the DC Council voted in favor of approving a bill which would give homosexual couples the right to marry in the Nation’s Capital. This month a DC Superior Court judge ruled that the bill’s opponents do not have the right to call for a referendum. If Congress approves this bill after their 30 legislative day review period, same sex couples should be able to start getting married in March of this year.

Hopefully soon more of the country will take the hint that this is not something that makes any sense to fight over. I have never understood why anyone gets upset over the idea of gays getting married. It’s not like the religious leaders who find that sort of thing distasteful are going to be forced to perform the ceremonies. Gay people aren’t going to want someone who hates them marrying them. It’s possible that the clergy who oppose these things will get asked to perform ceremonies, but I doubt that anyone who’s told "No, I can’t perform your wedding ceremony because I don’t believe you should have the right to marry" is going to still want that person to perform the ceremony anyway.

And I don’t really see how anyone else could have anything close to a valid argument for keeping same sex couples from marrying. If you have a gay family member or friend invite you to their wedding, but you don’t approve of gay marriage- JUST DON’T GO. Simple as that. It doesn’t have to affect you. You don’t have to take it as a personal insult. Just let other people alone and live your life the way you see fit. Why exactly is that so damn difficult for people?