What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?
This may be my favorite 30 Days question so far. You see, up until about 3 years ago I don’t think I really consciously identified my sexual preferences as BDSM or kink related. I mean, I knew that some of what I’d done and some of what I liked could be considered “kinky”, and I knew about BDSM in sort of an abstract way, but I didn’t really know about the whole subculture and community aspect of it. Then, a few months after a particularly painful breakup, my ex directed me to the web-novel Tales of MU. At the time, Tales of MU also had an official community forum. Once I was hooked on the story I found the forum, and the people who posted there most frequently all seemed to be into kink and BDSM. There was even a section of the forum for people to play out BDSM scenes and basically have cyber sex.
I actually got fairly heavily involved with some of the members of that group who had more experience with BDSM than myself. Heavily involved and quite intense, but all online. I played out spanking scenes in IM and bondage/knife play scenes in the forum. At one point I was involved so intensely with one playmate in private messages that I had to halt one scene due to a genuine, real life emotional overload that had nothing to do with anything going on in my real life and everything to do with the online play we’d been indulging in. Not to mention the fact that this forum is where I first met The Keeper, and we played out various kink related things in the forum as well as in IM long before we met in person.
Given all of that, I’d have to say my opinion of online BDSM play is a positive one. Online play is the thing that got me truly interested in the culture and community of BDSM and not just the sex. However, I will say that I don’t think online play is necessarily something everyone should try. I wouldn’t even go so far as to say that people who are new to the whole thing should try it online first. Playing online requires, in my opinion, more imagination as well as the ability to express yourself clearly in writing. So it’s not for everyone. But I’d say that if you’re someone who gets something out of reading erotic fiction, is decent at writing and describing your own thoughts and emotions, and you’re a quick typer then online play might be something you’d be interested in trying.