How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?
The difference between real life and fantasy is in the logistics and details, whether you’re talking about BDSM or just plain ole vanilla sex. It’s kind of like how people will fantasize about killing their boss if their boss is a huge asshole. The fantasy is great, cathartic. But if they think about it seriously for a moment, most people don’t actually want to deal with planning it in enough detail that they don’t get caught, cleaning up the mess, disposing of the body, and dealing with the police questioning once the boss is reported missing or the body is found.
Kink is kind of the same way. Someone can have this really hot, elaborate fantasy. But if they start picking the details apart, or if they try what they’re fantasizing about, there will frequently be things that are much more difficult than they thought, or not possible at all. For instance, I can fantasize all I want about being lifted up and fucked against a wall, but the fact of the matter is that unless I can find a bodybuilder who wants to do me that will probably never happen.