Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
Part of the appeal of kink/BDSM for me is that it allows me to explore my naturally submissive personality. That is actually more of an academic appeal than anything, because I like thinking about what’s going on inside me when I am in a position of submission, or in a position where I want to be submissive but my partner just is not getting it. I like thinking about all the different ways other submissive people express their submission and I like learning what submission means to different people. On the other side of that coin, I like learning about the different types of dominants and how they feel about dominating others, what ways they feel are best to reach the goals they have for their play. Hell, I like thinking about the idea of a dominant having goals and rules and actively trying to help their submissive become a better person. So I guess the philosophy and the sociological and psychological pondering is a big part of the appeal for me.
Another part, for me, I think is The Experience. I’m kind of drawn to experiencing new things. One of the reasons I smoked pot for the first time was because I wanted to see for myself exactly what was going on there and what effect it would have on me. I tried acid because I wanted to have the experience, same with shrooms. I’m interested in skydiving and bungee jumping for the same reason, just to see for myself what it’s like. Some of the more elaborate or risky kinks have the same allure. I didn’t want to try asphyxiation because it sounded sexy to me. I wanted to try it because I was curious if it would effect me the same way it effects those who enjoy it. I wanted to see if it would heighten my orgasm. And I don’t want to try electrical play because I get off on static shocks or anything like that, I want to see if it’s actually pleasant. Plus, the more experience I have to draw on the better I can examine it all from an academic standpoint.
But the most important part of the appeal of kink for me is probably this: it makes me wet. Simple as that, and I have no other way to really explain why the idea of being bent over and spanked or bound spread eagle with clamps attached to my nipples is sexy to me but it is.