He’s A Facebook Hating, Threesome Having Sumbitch

I’ve shared both these links on Twitter, but due to that whole 140 character limit thing on Twitter I couldn’t really share my thoughts about this guy beyond “This is remarkably stupid” and “Bwaahahahaha”.

Basically, there’s this church pastor in New Jersey who has decided, based on the number of couples he’s counseled who’ve had marital problems which seem (to him) to stem from Facebook, that the social networking site is dangerous. He has decreed that 50 officials of his church who are married need to choose between Facebook and being a church official, and he’s urging his congregation to delete their accounts as well. And this isn’t the first time he’s spoken up about the evils of Facebook. Seems he had already suggested to his congregation that they should share their logon info with their spouses.

Now, I am in no way a fan of Facebook. I don’t have an account there, and I don’t plan on ever creating one. I’ve been tempted a little by their farming games in the past, and I might, maybe, consider joining if this blog ever gets hugely popular; but overall I really have zero interest in Facebook on pretty much every level. So it might be surprising that I would give a shit what this guy in Jersey is blathering on about. Thing is, I don’t really give a shit about this guy. Let me explain.

Overall, I don’t think this asshat matters. He’s going to convince a percentage of however many people he preaches to in his church to delete their Facebook accounts, then some of those people are going to decide to get back on Facebook when they realize how much easier it makes keeping in touch with family and friends in far flung places. His idiocy isn’t likely to really hurt anyone in any meaningful way. However, I do think the whole thing is kind of stupid and stupid annoys me. Especially when it’s stupid that masquerades as almost reasonable and sensible.

This guy is in a position where he routinely hears about and attempts to help people with marital troubles. And over time he has observed a trend; apparently part of the troubles a lot of these couples are having is that one or both partners have reconnected with ex-loves on Facebook and doing so has put stress on their marriage. This is completely understandable. Some people are insecure about their partners’ exes. Some people don’t trust their spouses not to have affairs. Some of these people actually have affairs, which causes the marital stress. So it is almost reasonable to try and treat the symptom of Facebook supplying people with possible temptations. Almost, but not quite. The far more reasonable and more effective thing to do would be to treat the underlying “disease” (to stick with my medical analogy).

Instead of telling people to give their spouses their logon info, why not talk about how important trust is in a relationship? Instead of telling people that they should stay away from anything that might result in temptation, why not prepare them to stand up to that temptation by teaching them about honesty and integrity? And perhaps throw in some encouragement of open communication within relationships. Ya know, counsel people to talk to each other, identify insecurities and situations which could potentially cause hurt feelings, and then work on those things. Because, yea, Facebook might make cheating (whether emotionally or physically) easier but it isn’t the REASON that people turn to their ex or a friend or acquaintance. Telling people to delete their Facebook because it could lead to marital problems is like a doctor giving a gunshot victim morphine for the pain, but not removing the bullet or stitching up the wound. It’s just stupid.

Oh, and the other link I mentioned? Well, entertainingly enough someone dug up (probably in a weak attempt to discredit him) information about testimony he gave in a criminal case seven years ago in which he admits to having threesomes with his wife and another man. As far as I’m concerned this has absolutely no bearing on the stupidity or lack thereof of his feelings about Facebook. I just thought it was funny.

And in completely unrelated news, I’ve found a meme that I think may get me posting a little more. Two memes actually, but one is sex-based so that’s the one I’m going to do first. It’s called “30 Days of Kink” and I’m going to try to start it within the next few days. Here’s hoping I stick with it and you (all 3 of you) get new posts to read on a more regular basis.

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