Last night was D&D night, so The Keeper and I journeyed over to the home of our friend, Dungeon Master. When we arrived we discovered that Dungeon Master had a friend visiting from out of town. Nothing terribly strange there. Well, while we were waiting for everyone else in the D&D group to show up we got to talking and eventually I decided to give Dungeon Master’s roommate/tenant/friend Tony (he doesn’t get a fun name because he has voluntarily shared his identity with the interwebs) a little shit for having not made a post on his blog in almost a month now. I said that in the week since I talked to Tony last I had made three blog posts, but Tony hasn’t written anything since the beginning of the month. Mentioning my blog shifted the focus of the conversation and Dungeon Master and Tony started commenting on how the Friend From Out of Town (FFOT) would probably meet with an early demise if he were to read my blog. This confused me, as I have not cast Explosive Runes on this blog anywhere. After some inquiry I determined that they were mostly joking, but they were referring to the likelihood of FFOT’s wife disapproving of the content of this blog and then punishing him for reading it.
Now, while I’m aware that this was probably just very much exaggerated joking, it still kind of bothered me.
First, I see absolutely no reason why anyone would want to control what their partner reads/watches/looks at to that degree. I cannot imagine it doing anything but causing distrust and resentment, so it makes no sense for someone to intentionally do this to their partner.
Second, I feel it’s just plain wrong do to that to someone and I can’t see why anyone would want to continue the relationship with someone who does this. It’s similar in my mind to abuse. In this example both parties are adults and they have children together. So, I can understand limiting what either person can look at or watch around the kids. Obviously watching hardcore porn with your kid in the room is just kind of weird. I watched porn as a kid, but it was something I discovered on my own not something which was *ahem* thrust upon me. There is definitely something wrong with the idea of an adult voluntarily and intentionally showing children porn. So, like I said, limiting the content of what is watched or looked at while children are present doesn’t bother me. Limiting the content of what someone can read silently to themselves while children are present? This makes no sense to me. Even if the kid can read, it’s not likely that they’ll end up reading over your shoulder without you knowing about it, and if you know about it obviously you could close the window/laptop/book and wait until the children went to do something else before starting to read again. Not difficult. Therefore, reading a blog with possibly questionable content while the kids are around seems like it should be no problem.
But that’s not the impression I got from FFOT, Tony and Dungeon Master. They didn’t seem to be limiting things to "if the kids are around". It sounded more like a situation where FFOT’s wife was controlling the content he was allowed to consume under any circumstances. He joked a little that he was "safe here" with her not around to know what websites he was looking at. I very sincerely hope that they were all joking like I think they were because this kind of thing bothers me a great deal. I’m a submissive and it still makes me angry. Maybe it’s just the stereotype of the controlling wife/girlfriend who emasculates her man, or maybe it’s just a basic visceral hatred of the idea of someone imposing their will on someone else in this completely senseless sort of way. Because that’s what it is, senseless. There is some sense to the condition of "when the children are around", but to tell your significant other that you don’t like something so they can’t read it or do it or watch it even though it doesn’t really cause any harm to anyone? THAT is completely unacceptable. Telling them that you’d prefer they didn’t watch/do/read whatever it is because it makes you worried or uncomfortable? Ok, that’s not bad really. That’s actually probably pretty good communication for a couple to have. But just altogether banning something just because you don’t like it and then making your significant other fear punishment if they go against your ban? No. If The Keeper ever did something like this it would cause a very deep rift and would require a great deal of communication to repair, if it could be repaired at all.