Hi, I’m Yemanja and My Opinion Matters

I want something to be clear from the beginning, before I start writing posts about my opinions on parenting and what makes sense to me and what I think is the best way to do things.

I do not have kids. I have born no crotch fruit (to steal a turn of phrase from a friend of mine who does have kids). There is a chance that I will not ever choose to have children, as I am not only selfish but I also believe strongly that one should be completely financially prepared to take care of a child before they have one and there is a chance that I will never feel as though I am at such a point. There are other factors that make me teeter-totter between wanting children and wanting my tubes tied, but those are the main two.

That said, I do not believe that my lack of midget completely disqualifies me from the realm of parental theorizing and speculation, and it bothers me more than a little when I put forth an opinion only to have it scoffed at by someone who disagrees with me simply because I have not yet put that opinion into practice. Therefore, I would like to make it clear early on that if I get any comments along the lines of, "Oh, you poor idealistic childless thing, you couldn’t possibly know of what you speak. You’ll change your mind when you have a child of your own," they will either not be approved for viewing on this blog or they will be approved and then promptly ridiculed.

I have three younger sisters that I helped raise and who I have in retrospect learned quite a bit from. I also remember quite a bit of my own experience and feelings while growing up and have based some of my opinions on those experiences. In a few months I will have a niece or nephew and while I won’t be raising that child, I intend to give my sister any advice I can offer. I’ve already given her the book Free-Range Kids: Giving our kids the freedom we had without going nuts with worry. My older sister used to be an elementary school guidance counselor and my brother in law is a high school teacher. I talk to and read the opinions of people who have children or work with them on a daily basis. As far as I’m concerned, all of this qualifies me to have opinions on children and parenting. You don’t have to agree with me, but I believe you do have to make an attempt to not be a condescending douche when you comment on my blog. So please, pretty please with sugar on top, don’t be be a condescending prick in the comments. If you disagree, explain why. Don’t just tell me I’ll feel differently once I push a watermelon sized ball of squishy human shaped flesh out of my vagina.

And, just in case you’re reading, this post has nothing to do with our discussion in the comments of your blog OrganicSister. I just wanted to get this out there before I start writing my own child related posts.

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2 thoughts on “Hi, I’m Yemanja and My Opinion Matters

  1. One other thing about peoples’ opinions and kids: I’ve noticed that when these opinions are based on personal experience and memory, they run into the problem of memory being highly malleable. You can easily ‘remember’ things that never took place, as well as editing or forgetting things.

    In as much as I could point to a number of studies to back this up, I’d like to use my own mother as an example. At various points she’s declared that there’s things a parent should never do, usually in the context of “we NEVER did that with your and your sister.” At least 50% of the time I get to remind her of the fact that, actually, yes she did.

    In (semi) unrelated news, have you heard one of the latest arguments against gay marriage in the Prop. 8 trial? They say gays should not be allowed to marry because gay men don’t breastfeed, and breastfeeding is shown to be good for (presumably adopted?) children.

  2. Yes, memories can be spotty, but I don’t think that’s a reason to dismiss someone’s opinion. Mostly this entry was just meant to be a disclaimer and warning for later when I do start sharing specific opinions about children and parenting. And I think most of the opinions that I base on personal experience are more geared toward how to treat teenagers than anything else, which means that the memories aren’t quite as spotty because they’re more recent than things that happened when I was 5 or something.

    And no, I hadn’t heard that. I really hope no one is taking it seriously. I mean, first of all men actually are capable of producing milk I think, they just don’t have the same capacity as women. And even if I’m wrong about that, plenty of gay men have friends or family who might be willing to help them out either as a wet nurse or by bottling their breast milk. The gay men wouldn’t get the bonding experience with their adopted child, but there are other ways to bond.

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