My Boyfriend is Dating Another Girl…

…which is totally OK because I am also dating the same girl.

And it occurred to me when I woke up today that The Keeper and I are in a somewhat unique position. As of right now we’ve been out on one date with a fantastic girl that we both really, REALLY like and there’s a second date in the works probably for next week. The goal of all this (in addition to making an awesome new friend) is to eventually have a threesome and possibly have an ongoing friend with benefits/ BDSM relationship with The Girl. But right now we’re just dating, getting to know one another and trying to determine if we want to get more intimate or not just like any other dating situation. I can’t necessarily speak for The Girl or The Keeper, but I’m having all the same feelings as any other time I’ve been on the cusp of a new romantic relationship. The big difference is that this time I have The Keeper right there with me. I have the excitement of a new relationship while also having the security of my relationship with The Keeper. I get to have all the giddy nerves and the anticipation of a first kiss and the awkward should-I-make-a-move moments WITHOUT the worry that something is going to explode and someone is going to get hurt; because not only are all three of us adults who have been communicating openly about our feelings and expectations from the beginning, but also because each of us has a secure relationship to fall back on if things don’t work out. None of us is in a position where we’ll be alone and hurting if something bad happens.

That is a unique and special place to be. I’m quite enjoying it. And I’m especially happy to be sharing it with The Keeper.

30 Days of Kink: Day 30

Whatever BDSM/kink related thing you want to write about.

And now we come to the end. I’ve enjoyed this meme a great deal. Not only did it get me posting regularly over the last month, but most of the questions were actually fairly interesting to me as well. There is no question to answer or specific topic to talk about today though, so I think I’m going to do something a little different. This is a short erotic fiction I wrote about six years ago. It’s not great, but I’ve gotten compliments on it and I think it’s a good way to end the 30 Days of Kink.

*     *     *     *     *

“He’s such a generous man,” she thought as she walked down the street. It was early in the afternoon and the sun was shining. She smiled. A lot of stares were being directed toward her, just as Mr. Blake had promised. She wasn’t surprised; after all she was wearing a Girl Scout uniform. The top was skin tight and half unbuttoned to show her large round breasts and lacy black bra, and the skirt was so short that if she were to bend at the waist her well groomed pussy would be fully exposed. To complete the outfit she was carrying a green messenger bag full of Girl Scout cookies.

She turned a corner. OK, third house on the left. As she approached the huge brick house she reached into her bag and found a brush. Before ringing the doorbell she brushed out her long brown pigtails. Reaching for a box of Thin Mints, she rang the bell.
   
A tall, athletic looking man with black hair, mustache and goatee opened the door. She smiled and in a cheerful voice said, “Hi! Would you like to buy a box of cookies?”
   
“Hmm, I don’t know…” his voice was very deep.
   
“Please? They’re really tasty, and if I sell enough I get rewarded with a badge.”
   
“Is the badge important to you?” he asked, a smile beginning to form on his lips.
   
“Oh, it’s very important to me, and I only have to sell two more boxes of cookies to earn it. I would do anything to get this badge.” She replied in as serious a tone as she could manage.
   
“Really? I have an idea then, come inside,” he invited, stepping back to let her in. He took her bag and set it on a table by the door, then led her into a comfortable looking sitting room. “Have a seat, I’ll be right back.”
   
She sat down on the plush cream colored sofa and waited. Before long she heard his footsteps coming back behind her.
   
He held a long piece of light green fabric in front of her for a moment before drawing it to her mouth. When she opened her mouth to ask what he was doing (as if she didn’t know), he pulled the cloth into her mouth. Then, as he tied it behind her head, he said, “Now, you just let me know when that badge is no longer important.”
   
Leaning over the back of the couch he kissed her neck and lightly ran the back of his hand down her cheek. Then he tightened his hand around her throat and whispered in her ear, “Stand up.” She did as she was told and he took her hand. He led her to a room where an iron bar with a curved end was protruding from the wall. The bar was about level with her eyes. He led her to it and tied her hands to it with another length of green fabric. She looked at him with big, frightened eyes.
   
She wasn’t frightened, she was curious. What would he do next? She was already wet imagining the possibilities. But Mr. Blake had told her to act scared. Mr. Blake preferred to see her hunger, her need. His friend, however, was turned on by fear. She could already see the bulge forming in his slacks just from looking into her eyes.
   
He walked across the room to a desk and rummaged in one of the drawers. When he returned he was holding a pair of scissors. Slowly, he cut the buttons off her uniform top, and then hung the scissors on the curved end of the metal bar.
   
He ran his hands under her open shirt and around to her back, then down her back and over her round, firm ass. His hands rested below her ass for a moment before moving down the backs of her legs, then back up and under her skirt.
   
“You’re a little whore, aren’t you?” he said, grinning as she shook her head frantically. “Yes you are. You are a filthy little Girl Scout slut. Not wearing any underwear.” He slid a hand in front of her and between her legs. She was dripping wet now. He inserted a finger into her soaked pussy. His index finger barely fit in her tight little cunt. “Perfect,” he thought.
   
He was hard now. His cock was straining to get out of his pants. He stepped away from the slut he had tied to the wall, unzipped his pants and took out his long, thick cock. Then he stepped back over to her and watched as her eyes started to tear up. That was all the persuasion he needed. He picked her up easily and positioned her so the head of his penis was just touching her pussy, then…he dropped her, letting gravity do its job. She moaned and tears streamed down her face as he lifted her again and dropped her again. He was ripping her in half, and it felt so good. Every time he dropped her she could feel his cock hit the very back of her vagina. Soon she forgot herself and began moaning with pleasure, arching her back and throwing back her head. He stopped. After lifting her off his cock and setting her back on the floor he turned and walked back across the room.
   
“You stupid bitch,” she thought,” Mr. Blake is going to be furious.”
   
When he came back a wooden paddle was hanging from his wrist by a thong. She looked at the floor. He walked behind her and held up her skirt.
   
One, two, three whacks from the paddle. He didn’t start of slow or easy, he hit her ass hard every time. Six, seven, eight; she was bent over now, juices from her pussy dripping down her legs and tears falling onto the floor. Nine was harder and ten was even harder than that. She heard the paddle drop to the floor. She was sobbing now and her head was hanging between her up stretched arms. She felt, just barely felt, his hands on her ass, spreading the cheeks. There was something cold enough to make her gasp drizzled on her puckered hole, then the head of his cock pushed against her back opening. She tried weakly to pull away, but he pulled her back and back until slowly inch by inch his entire cock was in her ass. Then he began fucking her. Thrusting hard, listening to her sob and choke on the gag. He got into rhythm with her sobs. Every time she let out a sob he would pull out till only the head was in her ass, then just as she was inhaling he would pull her fast and hard back all the way to his pelvic bone. The more he fucked her the more she sobbed and the faster his thrusts came. He stopped pulling her and began just thrusting by himself, with one hand tightly gripping her throat and the other massaging her clit. She was still crying, but she was also in heaven. She could feel his cock pulsing in her ass and she knew he was about to cum. Soon she heard him groan and she could feel the warm semen explode into her ass. His cock slowly began to shrink and he pulled out. His cum began leaking out and mixing with the juices flowing down her legs. She was hanging forward again. As he walked by her he pulled on the end of the cloth tying her to the bar. She fell forward onto the floor as he left the room.
   
After he had showered and put on clean cloths the man came back. She had finished crying and was sitting up now with her knees up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. He brought her bag to her and knelt down.
   
“Here,” he said, holding out some money to her. “I’d like two boxes of cookies.”
   
She reached into the bag and pulled out a box of Thin Mints and a box of Tagalongs.
   
“Tell Blake thanks for me.”

30 Days of Kink: Day 29

Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

Within the D/s dynamic I would like to have, titles just aren’t really necessary. I understand why other people have them, but my preferred dynamic just isn’t so extreme that I need to call The Keeper something other than his name. As for myself, I don’t feel a title would be necessary either. My Dom is my Dom, he can call me anything he likes. I will say though that I do sort of informally categorize our dynamic as one of Owner/pet. I will probably never call him Owner in place of his name, and the only time he’s called me pet it’s more like an affectionate nickname like “honey” or “baby” than a title, but if we were going to have formal titles those are probably what they would be.

In regard to the use of titles in general, my opinion is this: meh. I don’t really have an opinion. I understand all the reasons people use them, and I feel that people should do what feels right to them. If calling your partner Master or Sir feels right, then by all means do so. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t do it.

30 Days of Kink: Day 28

How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

This actually came up last night in conversation with The Keeper, sort of. We were talking about possible plans for New Year’s Eve. I had suggested an event I’d seen posted on FetLife, and we discussed it a bit before I eventually came to the conclusion that I would like to go, but I wouldn’t have the first clue what to wear. Now, that is partially due to the fact that most of my clothing no longer fits and partially because I don’t have any fetish/kink clothing. I have no leather or latex. No corsets or thigh high stiletto boots. Nothing that’s even all that flattering, vanilla or otherwise. So we decided not to go to the fetish club to ring in the new year.

More significant to the topic at hand though, I don’t really dress any particular way for BDSM play. I have a few pieces of fairly tame lingerie, but otherwise I’m usually just naked when I play. So I suppose the significance my attire has to me would be none.

30 Days of Kink: Day 27

Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

I hate to say it, because it means this is likely to be a really short entry, but… no. I’m not even sure how inserting my non-kink interests into my kinky activities would work. Maybe if I was interested in sexual roleplay The Keeper and I could roleplay our D&D characters in kinky situations, but I’m not at all interested in sexual roleplay. I suppose if I ever try wax play it might incorporate some of my more artistic interests/talents, but I haven’t tried that yet so I can’t be certain. I would be interested to hear from people who DO incorporate their non-kink interested in their play, just so could understand how that would work.

30 Days of Kink: Day 26

What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

This may be my favorite 30 Days question so far. You see, up until about 3 years ago I don’t think I really consciously identified my sexual preferences as BDSM or kink related. I mean, I knew that some of what I’d done and some of what I liked could be considered “kinky”, and I knew about BDSM in sort of an abstract way, but I didn’t really know about the whole subculture and community aspect of it. Then, a few months after a particularly painful breakup, my ex directed me to the web-novel Tales of MU. At the time, Tales of MU also had an official community forum. Once I was hooked on the story I found the forum, and the people who posted there most frequently all seemed to be into kink and BDSM. There was even a section of the forum for people to play out BDSM scenes and basically have cyber sex.

I actually got fairly heavily involved with some of the members of that group who had more experience with BDSM than myself. Heavily involved and quite intense, but all online. I played out spanking scenes in IM and bondage/knife play scenes in the forum. At one point I was involved so intensely with one playmate in private messages that I had to halt one scene due to a genuine, real life emotional overload that had nothing to do with anything going on in my real life and everything to do with the online play we’d been indulging in. Not to mention the fact that this forum is where I first met The Keeper, and we played out various kink related things in the forum as well as in IM long before we met in person.

Given all of that, I’d have to say my opinion of online BDSM play is a positive one. Online play is the thing that got me truly interested in the culture and community of BDSM and not just the sex. However, I will say that I don’t think online play is necessarily something everyone should try. I wouldn’t even go so far as to say that people who are new to the whole thing should try it online first. Playing online requires, in my opinion, more imagination as well as the ability to express yourself clearly in writing. So it’s not for everyone. But I’d say that if you’re someone who gets something out of reading erotic fiction, is decent at writing and describing your own thoughts and emotions, and you’re a quick typer then online play might be something you’d be interested in trying.

30 Days of Kink: Day 25

How open are you about your kinks?

Since all of my kinks are sexual, or have a sexual aspect, I don’t go around flamboyantly proclaiming about them. I see no reason to force knowledge of my sexuality on the general public, at least in real life. The blog doesn’t count.

That said, I also don’t hide or lie about anything I’m into. If people have questions, or if something comes up in conversation, I either talk about it openly or I tell the person I’m not comfortable talking about it with them. Outside of conversation, I don’t think any of my kinks are readily noticeable. Any bruising I’m likely to have isn’t going to be visible and if The Keeper were to ever collar me it most likely wouldn’t be an obvious, bdsm type collar.

So, I would say that I am open about my kinks, but not obvious about them.

30 Days of Kink: Day 24

What qualities do you look for in a partner?

Let me tell you what qualities I look for in a partner… with BULLET POINTS! Note- none of these lists are in any particular order.

Physical Qualities That I Either Look For Or Tend To Be Drawn To

Men:

• Taller than me (so, taller than 5’6)
• Broader than me (basically, big enough that I don’t feel enormous comparatively)
• Facial hair
• Glasses (this just seems to happen, I don’t really have anything against men with good eyesight)

Women:

• My size or a bit smaller
• Pretty Face
• Medium to large breasts
• Nice ass

Mental/Personality Qualities That I Either Look For Or Tend To Be Drawn To

Both Men & Women:

• Either enjoys or is tolerant of video games
• Either enjoys or is tolerant of tabletop roleplaying games
• Funny
• Likes to read
• Honest
• Communicates openly
• Intelligent but not arrogant
• Creative
• Either enjoys or is tolerant of comic books
• Not hypocritical, double standard wielding nutjobs

30 Days of Kink: Day 22 & 23

What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

There are many important aspects to keeping any relationship healthy, BDSM or vanilla. All those involved need to be honest and communicate openly. Those two things should create an atmosphere in the relationship of respect and trust. I’d say that the difference between a healthy BDSM relationship and a healthy vanilla relationship is that a BDSM relationship requires just a bit more trust; because in a BDSM relationship each partner’s physical safety is more often put in the hands of the other.

Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

To be honest, I don’t think my interests or perspectives have really changed. The number of things I’m interested in or curious about have increased, but they’re all connected to my submissive personality and my sort of thrill/endorphin seeking behaviors.

30 Days of Kink: Day 21

Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction).

The only things I read that I identify as specifically BDSM related are two web-novels. Tales of MU by Alexandra Erin is the more obvious of the two, considering that within the first few chapters there are dominant/submissive dynamics forming between various characters. The other web-novel, An Intimate History of the Greater Kingdom by Meilin Miranda, isn’t quite as overt about its BDSM aspects in my opinion, but they’re there.

As for books that have been published in the traditional way, I suppose Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles and Laurel K Hamilton’s Merry Gentry series both have some BDSM aspects and undertones. As does Lilith Saintcrow’s Dante Valentine series. But those are the only ones that come readily to mind.

30 Days of Kink: Day 20

Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

I feel like I’ve mentioned plenty of things I’m curious about through the course of this meme, but I haven’t really talked much about things I don’t understand. That’s probably because most of the things that I don’t understand within BDSM and kink are fetishes that I am not curious about in the least. They don’t interest me or turn me on at all so I usually just sort of mentally shrug and go about my business, because I don’t feel it’s my place to pass judgment about something that gets someone else off. I don’t need to understand something in order to accept that someone else is into it. But, since the topic has come up, here is a list of some kink related things that I just do not get:

• Podophilia (foot fetish)
• Incest fantasies and roleplay
• Women-popping-balloons-with-their-ass fetish
• Urolagnia (urine fetish)
• Agalmatophilia (arousal by statues, mannequins and immobility)
• Coprophilia (feces fetish)
• Dendrophilia (arousal by trees)
• Emetophilia (vomit fetish)
• Pedophilia
• Lactophilia (breast milk fetish)
• Mechanophilia (arousal by cars or other machines)
• Mucophilia (mucus fetish)
• Necrophilia
• Baby play
• Pedovestism (arousal from dressing as a child)
• Zoophilia (arousal by animals)
• Zoosadism (arousal from inflicting pain or seeing pain inflicted on animals)

I’m sure there are many, many more, but these should give a good idea of the kinds of things I don’t understand. Now that I think about it, I really don’t understand what I would call “extreme fetishism”. What I mean by that is that I don’t understand any fetish that is a truly integral part of someone’s ability to achieve sexual gratification.

For instance, I can understand liking the way feet look or that for some people the feet are an erogenous zone. What I cannot wrap my head around is people who can’t orgasm unless they are having their feet rubbed/licked/sucked/etc or unless they are doing so to someone else’s feet. Same with fetishes involving certain items of clothing. I can totally understand being turned on by various pieces of clothing, but the idea of not being able to orgasm unless I or my partner is wearing something specific just kind of seems like it would become boring after a while.

Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t some fetishes on the above list that I just completely don’t understand no matter how mild or extreme the individual case. Pedophilia is one that I completely don’t understand. I also don’t get the appeal of any of the fetishes involving bodily fluids. However, I feel I should reiterate that just because I don’t understand it doesn’t give me any right to judge others. Even in the case of pedophilia, I don’t feel justified in judging unless they act on their fetish. Otherwise I just kind of feel bad for them, because they’re wired in such an unfortunate way. But that’s probably a discussion for another time.

30 Days of Kink: Day 19

Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?

I realize this is a really weak thing to post in answer to this question, but honestly, no. I cannot think of any way kink has improved my life. I’ve been having at least semi-kinky sex ever since I lost my virginity, so kink hasn’t even made any significant improvements to my sex life. Most of the improvements to my life have been made either by personal contemplation or other people in my life.

30 Days of Kink: Day 18

Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?

My only kink related peeves are along the same lines as the misconception I’d like to clear up, which I wrote about yesterday. I don’t like it when people make detailed personal assumptions about me based on adjectives I use to describe myself or the labels I give myself. The label “submissive” does not mean the exact same thing to every person who identifies themselves with it. There are things I consider kinky that another person might consider vanilla. Just because someone says they are a masochist does not mean they will enjoy being punched in the face. The BDSM community is extremely diverse, don’t assume anything about anyone. Ask questions. Get to know them.

30 Days of Kink: Day 17

What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

I think a lot of people believe that if someone is into BDSM or has a fetish then they must have had a horrible childhood that was chock full of all kinds of abuse. People who work in the sex industry are stereotyped that way too. I don’t normally have much problem with stereotypes, but I think this one is especially unfair due to the severity and extremely personal nature of the assumption being made. Other groups get stereotyped, but usually the generalization being made is cultural or racial, and deals with the group as a whole and not the individual. And they generally don’t involve actions that would get someone put in prison. When someone stereotypes a kinky individual or a sex worker as being a product of abuse, they’re making an assumption about a very, very personal thing. I dislike the “pedophile priest” stereotype for similar reasons. The subject matter is just far too serious to generalize in the way that many people do.

The fact of the matter is, not everyone who is into kink or makes a living from sex is a victim of abuse, just like not every priest likes to diddle little boys. These kinds of generalizations only serve to make one group feel superior to another, which in turn makes them feel justified in passing judgment on others without getting to know them.

30 Days of Kink: Day 16

What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

There are really only two things that I find difficult about being kinky. The first is my size, and the second is romantic relationships.

My size makes things difficult in a couple different ways. First, I’ve found it extremely difficult to find any sort of kinky clothing/lingerie that I feel is likely to fit me. As things stand, there aren’t really any fetish clothing stores in my area that I’m aware of, which makes it necessary to shop online. I have a hard enough time finding normal, everyday clothing that fits and looks good on me in stores where I can actually try stuff on. So generally, no online shopping for me since I can’t try on anything I see online.

Second, because I am a bigger girl, it is difficult to find sexual or romantic partners who are able to physically dominate me. One thing that really turns me on is when a guy can take both my wrists in one hand, pin my arms above my head and keep them there regardless of how much I squirm or struggle while he plays with me. Or easily move me into whatever position he wants me to be in. Unfortunately, guys who are able to do things like that seem to be few and far between, and I feel it has something to do with how big I am. And that’s not even getting into my desire to be picked up and fucked against a wall or the fact that I can’t even give a proper on-my-knees blowjob because being on my knees for more than a couple minutes hurts too much.

The other thing I’ve found to be difficult about being kinky is finding a partner who is interested in the same aspects of kink as I am. Or at least one who is willing to learn and try to understand my kinks. The Keeper is the closest I’ve gotten to having a relationship with someone like that, but as incredible as he is he just isn’t all that interested in being a Dom. He wants me to be happy, but he doesn’t really understand how it all works.

On the whole though, neither of these things is are really all that bothersome. If I work at it, I can change my size. And having someone I love who loves me back and is pretty much perfect, other than his inability to understand what I need as a submissive, is more important to me than being dominated.

30 Days of Kink: Day 15

Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Well, I think I already covered a few of these in my Day 2 post. I’d like to try blood play, candle wax, electrical play, knife play and a few other things. But I think the one I’m most curious about is fire play. I have no idea how that would actually work. With electrical play you have a charged wand that is used to administer low voltage shocks. In knife play you run a knife, or some other flat, cold metal item, along a person’s body and the risk, the danger is arousing. But what happens when people play sexually with fire? Is it a fetish where just seeing large fires is arousing? Does someone have to be doing tricks with fire? Does fire actually come into contact with anyone, or is it just the risk involved when one gets very close? I tried to figure it out by looking through one or two fire play groups on Fetlife, but I still don’t get it.

30 Days of Kink: Day 14

How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

The difference between real life and fantasy is in the logistics and details, whether you’re talking about BDSM or just plain ole vanilla sex. It’s kind of like how people will fantasize about killing their boss if their boss is a huge asshole. The fantasy is great, cathartic. But if they think about it seriously for a moment, most people don’t actually want to deal with planning it in enough detail that they don’t get caught, cleaning up the mess, disposing of the body, and dealing with the police questioning once the boss is reported missing or the body is found.

Kink is kind of the same way. Someone can have this really hot, elaborate fantasy. But if they start picking the details apart, or if they try what they’re fantasizing about, there will frequently be things that are much more difficult than they thought, or not possible at all. For instance, I can fantasize all I want about being lifted up and fucked against a wall, but the fact of the matter is that unless I can find a bodybuilder who wants to do me that will probably never happen.

30 Days of Kink: Day 13

Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Part of the appeal of kink/BDSM for me is that it allows me to explore my naturally submissive personality. That is actually more of an academic appeal than anything, because I like thinking about what’s going on inside me when I am in a position of submission, or in a position where I want to be submissive but my partner just is not getting it. I like thinking about all the different ways other submissive people express their submission and I like learning what submission means to different people. On the other side of that coin, I like learning about the different types of dominants and how they feel about dominating others, what ways they feel are best to reach the goals they have for their play. Hell, I like thinking about the idea of a dominant having goals and rules and actively trying to help their submissive become a better person. So I guess the philosophy and the sociological and psychological pondering is a big part of the appeal for me.

Another part, for me, I think is The Experience. I’m kind of drawn to experiencing new things. One of the reasons I smoked pot for the first time was because I wanted to see for myself exactly what was going on there and what effect it would have on me. I tried acid because I wanted to have the experience, same with shrooms. I’m interested in skydiving and bungee jumping for the same reason, just to see for myself what it’s like. Some of the more elaborate or risky kinks have the same allure. I didn’t want to try asphyxiation because it sounded sexy to me. I wanted to try it because I was curious if it would effect me the same way it effects those who enjoy it. I wanted to see if it would heighten my orgasm. And I don’t want to try electrical play because I get off on static shocks or anything like that, I want to see if it’s actually pleasant. Plus, the more experience I have to draw on the better I can examine it all from an academic standpoint.

But the most important part of the appeal of kink for me is probably this: it makes me wet. Simple as that, and I have no other way to really explain why the idea of being bent over and spanked or bound spread eagle with clamps attached to my nipples is sexy to me but it is.

30 Days of Kink: Day 12

Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I feel like I’m starting a lot of these out saying that I can’t remember things or haven’t had whatever experience the prompt is referring to, but I really can’t remember a specifically BDSM related experience that’s been all that funny. I laugh during foreplay and pillow talk, and have been known to laugh every so often during the main event, but it’s usually related to something that’s been said by myself or my partner. I’m sure there’s been some physical, situational comedy that’s gone down during my various sexual encounters… But obviously none of those have been all that amusing or I would be able to remember some details.

As for aspects of kink that I find funny, I’ll admit there are some fetishes that I kind of chuckle to myself about. I would never laugh AT someone for their fetish, but one must admit that there are some pretty silly things out there that people get off on. I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but the one where people are turned on by women popping balloons by sitting on them comes to mind. I can see how painfully hot women doing just about anything could be arousing, but the balloon popping thing is just so…. specific. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, or with the people whose fetish that is, but it does make me grin.

30 Days of Kink: Day 11

What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I’ve honestly never given much thought to the ethics of kink. Like Violet over at Caveat Emptor I feel that ethics are, to a degree, subjective. The “ethics of kink” are even harder to pin down, because the kinky community is made up of so, so many differing viewpoints. For instance, I’ve actually seen Christian groups listed on Fetlife, which makes me think that there are probably kinky Jehovah’s Witnesses out there somewhere. If that’s the case, they would probably consider vampirism fetishes and blood play unethical. I personally feel that due to the somewhat pedophilic undertones, baby play fetishes and parent/child power dynamic play is somewhat unethical. Since most people’s ethical views are influenced a great deal by things like religious upbringing and other ideological groups they belong to long before they really discover kink, it’s highly unlikely that there would be any unifying ethical code for those who identify as kinky. However, there is one ethical principle that I feel the majority of the kinky community can agree on: if anyone involved has not given consent freely then there is something seriously wrong and all proceedings should be halted. That principle, in my mind, boils down to “An’ it harm none, do as you will”, and is really the only ethical principle I feel is relevant or necessary whether one is talking about kink or life in general.

30 Days of Kink: Day 10

What are your hard limits?

I actually came up with a “blacklist” for The Keeper early on in our relationship. Here it is in all its bullet-pointed glory:

• No urine, ever, anywhere, in a sexual situation/ context.

• No feces ever, anywhere in a sexual situation/ context; except in relation to preparing for and performing anal sex or anal stimulation with toys. Basically, poo is not arousing to me. It is an unfortunate side effect when engaging in anal play.
• No feet. I do not find feet at all arousing. Women’s feet can be aesthetically pleasing in certain shoes, and shoes can add to an overall sexy look. However, when feet are the focus of sexual attention I find myself somewhat disgusted. I don’t want anyone’s mouth or genitals on my feet and I do not want my mouth or genitals on anyone else’s feet.
• No severe pain anywhere besides my nipples (for the purpose of this hard limit, the aereola is not part of the nipple), ass and maybe parts of the neck/shoulders/back.
• I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of roleplay, but any roleplay which would include themes of incest or "baby play" in general is a hard limit for me. This includes calling anyone who is boning me “daddy” or “papi” as well as things like dressing up in a diaper. People dressing up as and acting like infants I just don’t understand, it does nothing for me sexually. But incestuous roleplay or even the more common act of calling a partner “daddy” just completely grosses me out.
• I do not find being entirely left alone for prolonged periods of time (though a short time to build suspense can be thrilling) and/or being confined to a small enclosed space to be a turn on.

30 Days of Kink: Day 9

Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

This is more erotic than kinky, I think, but I feel like it definitely belongs here. Hey Pretty by Poe.

Now if you want kinky, just listen to the lyrics of Control by Puddle of Mudd:

Not sure this one counts, but I’m putting Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry in here because he talks about scratches all down his back, plus it’s a good song:

By the way, I really wanted to embed the videos instead of just posting links to them, but for some reason Windows Live Writer isn’t letting me do that.

30 Days of Kink: Day 8

Post a kinky image you find erotic.

To be honest, images don’t really do much for me. I don’t think I’ve ever masturbated while looking at a sexy picture, though that’s not saying much given my general lack of interest in masturbation to begin with. Still though, I’ll look at sexy images and appreciate them, even get a little horny, but they’re generally not enough to really get my juices flowing.

So it took some searching to find something to use for this post. I tried Google Images and Fetlife but had no luck. Then I typed “erotic” and “candle wax fetish” into the search bar over at deviantArt and found these (clicking on any of these images should take you to their deviantArt page, but if they don’t let me know so I can credit the artists):

Not terribly kinky, but I found it rather sexy.
 

And then there was wax. I couldn’t choose one to post between these three so I’m posting them all.

 
 
 

30 Days of Kink: Day 7

What’s your favorite toy?

Unfortunately, I don’t really have much in the way of toys. I used to have a vibrator, but the last time I used it I didn’t clean it immediately and the next time I wanted to use it I remembered I hadn’t cleaned it and wasn’t sure I’d be able to clean it thoroughly enough so I just threw it away. The Keeper and I bought an anal plug, but haven’t really used it much. And those are pretty much the only toys I’ve ever used.

The thing about sex toys for me is I never really saw much use in spending so much money on them. If The Keeper and I were having sex more frequently, and if I could get him to actually use them on me and let me use them on him, then maybe it would make sense to have some. Unfortunately, our foreplay generally isn’t all that drawn out because once we’re both all worked up we don’t tend to continue teasing, we just get on with the main event. So even if we had toys I’m not sure we’d be likely to remember to use them.

And in general, I don’t masturbate. I’ll occasionally get very horny and touch myself a bit, but usually that’s just it. A touch, a rub. Then I go about doing whatever else I was about to do. Because nine times out of ten, masturbating does nothing for me. I almost never get a full orgasm out of it, so when I really put time and effort in to doing it I just end up frustrated. I’ll admit I did have more luck with that vibrator than I ever did with just my fingers, but even with that it tended to be more frustrating than satisfying. I would get to the point where I was pissed off that all I had was a toy and not an actual human being with a nice big cock who would use me like I was their toy.

So I guess the answer to this is… I don’t have a favorite toy.

30 Days of Kink: Day 6

Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

I’ve been thinking about how best to answer this since I first read through the 30 Days of Kink list. Most of my fantasies don’t really seem interesting or weird to me; and usually they aren’t so much fleshed out fantasies as they are specific kinky and/or sexual actions I want to do or have done to me. I only ever get into the details of how and in what order on the rare occasion that I write erotic fiction. The only fantasy I could think of that would involve a lot of details without me having to really construct it all from the jumble of “things I want to do” in my head was my sensory deprivation fantasy.

A few years ago, when I was between relationships (or, what I call my “slutty time”), I found an ad on the casual encounters section of Craig’s List. It described, in incredibly erotic detail, a scenario of almost complete sensory deprivation. I can’t remember the details of the actual ad anymore, but I remember after reading it I was extremely wet. As far as I can recall, I did not respond to the ad. I would have liked to, but it really didn’t seem like the kind of thing one should do with someone you meet randomly online. Far too much potential for something to go terribly awry. I’ve thought about it ever since though.

Ideally I would be laid out on a surface which could be kept at body temperature, and which would automatically correct of the heat my body would generate just by laying there for a long time. This surface would also ideally be something soft that would form around my body just a little. Something I would make a bit of an indent in, and not just a flat, hard table. I realize that this would be incredibly difficult to obtain though, so a narrow bed or cushioned bench of some sort would probably have to do. It would have to be something that my partner could walk all the way around and easily reach me from any direction.

My wrists and ankles would be bound in such a way as to give my partner full access to my body, but not in a way which would become uncomfortable. Or, if possible, perhaps I would be drugged in some way so that I could feel any physical stimulation I was given and my muscles would react to the stimulation, but I could not otherwise move. Nothing permanent, just something that would be in effect for a few hours. Next I would be blindfolded, thoroughly. Not just a cloth tied over my eyes, but something which would completely black out my vision. My ears would be plugged also, but not just with normal plugs. With normal earplugs any vibrations on my body or the surface I lay on could be translated into something resembling sound. Instead I would be wearing earphones which would be playing white noise at a volume just loud enough that I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on outside vibrations, but low enough that I also wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the sounds. Finally, something with a very strong smell would be placed just under my nose in order to overload my sense of smell.

Then, the fun would begin.

At first, my partner would just let me lie there adjusting to the lack of sensory input. Maybe let me stay there without any outside stimuli for thirty minutes. It would probably feel like hours. Even if I’m not drugged in any way, I might forget that I have the ability to move, or speak. Then, various forms of stimulation. A feather run over my body. Firm hands massaging my limbs. Candle wax, or ice, or both. Electric jolts. Something that feels like a knife. Perhaps something that actually is a knife making a few shallow cuts. Nipple clamps. All sorts of touches, with 15 or 30 minute breaks every so often. And no genital stimulation at first. Nothing on my breasts or nipples at first either. That way by the time I feel a toothed clamp on my nipple, or a soft, wet tongue flick across my clitoris, I would be an the edge about the explode. And as soon as my partner began stimulating my hot spots, they would do so mercilessly, continuously. Half an hour, maybe an hour of such stimulation would feel like an eternity by that point. Once the ear plugs and blindfold were finally removed and the strong smell washed away, I would feel as though I’d been locked inside my head with all that physical stimulation for days, though it probably would only have been a few hours.

That is what I want more than almost anything else. I want someone I love and trust to give me this experience, and be just as fascinated by the prospect of observing me during the whole ordeal as I am interested in experiencing it.