Lenore over at Free-Range Kids linked to a pretty entertaining site a few days ago. It’s called (The Customer Is) Not Always Right and it’s just a huge compilation of ridiculous customer service stories. It’s kind of like F My Life, but with stupid customers. As I was reading through them last week I came across a couple of gems.
The first one is a really good example of why people in other countries kind of hate us.
(A mother approaches me, violently dragging her two teenage boys along.)
Mother: “I demand you call the police immediately and have them arrest those ‘flashers’ at once!”
(She motions to the two topless girls on the beach.)
Me: “Actually, here in Ontario, it’s legal for women to go topless. Are you not from around here?”
Mother: “I am from America where we have morals and standards. You people sicken me! They are far too young to be doing that!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but there is technically no age limit on the law. It applies the same as it does to your sons.”
Mother: “Is there not a family section for decent people to enjoy the beach without these sick perverts exposing themselves to everyone?”
Me: “Again, I apologize, but it’s not about the beach. It’s legal for women of any age to go topless anywhere outdoors they please…same as men.”
Mother: “I will sue this whole country for punitive damages! My sons will be scarred for life!”
(Her sons are clearly scarred, as they are staring at the topless girls with huge grins on their faces. All of a sudden, three more topless girls walk past. She attempts to cover both her sons’ eyes with her hands.)
Mother: “Heathens! You will all burn in h***! Sinners and perverts, that’s all you Canadians are!”
And this one just makes me smile.The customer’s heart is in the right place I think. And I could imagine saying something similar, but mostly joking around.
Customer: “I want to adopt this dog. When can I take him home?”
Me: “He’ll have to be neutered before he can go home. You can take him home in the afternoon.”
Customer: “Wait, why does he have to be neutered?”
Me: “Well, this is an animal shelter. All these animals are homeless and we don’t want to add to that with any accidental breeding.”
Customer: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! A dog like him could produce some great pups.”
Me: “Well, it’s our policy. He will be neutered before he leaves this building. It’s required.”
Customer: “Will you guys at least put in fake implants? At least then he can keep his dignity.”
Me: “Um…I don’t think we do that sort of thing.”